Substance Abuse/Voices

My story is this: the Lord Jesus healed me through Moriah. I had been a very troubled person for all of my life. From my earliest memories, I was always gripped with fear. I had a very violent and abusive upbringing, and I was physically and verbally abused. I grew up in terror and was always afraid that somebody was going to attack me or kill me. I always dealt with issues of self-esteem, panic attacks, depression, and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. I grew up in a home where both of my parents were alcoholics. My dad traveled a lot, and my mom would beat my brother and I and scream things like "I wish you were never born", “You're the worst mistake I ever had", and "I hate you, you’re the worst burden that’s ever happened to me". My behavior started to get abnormal and I became an outcast. Very early I developed sexual addictions and tendencies toward pyromania and other extreme activities, just wanting to do something wrong.

I had some understanding of God, and I would go to bed every night and pray that God would kill my mom. As I got older, I found myself in and out of institutions. I was on psych meds for 15-16 years, in mental institutions, living on the street, shooting dope, and hearing voices.
I began praying to Satan because I felt like God wasn’t helping me. Eventually I developed a methamphetamine addiction. I kept having to go back to jail, and I found myself a streetperson. I would go through suicide attempts over and over, and then I would end up at the mental institution or a hospital. Including all the sober-living and designed-treatment facility housing, I’ve been institutionalized 27 times.

By the time I came to Moriah I was several months sober through AA and NA, and I was back on the psych meds, but my insomnia was just horrible. The voices were getting louder and louder, telling me to do perverse things to other people, and I began to think about killing other people. I had been in the Orange County mental health system as a patient for 6 years - I couldn’t get out. A friend suggested that I to go Moriah for help. I thought about it for a long time and had some apprehensions, but I went.

I sat down with Jim and we talked, went through some scriptures, and built my faith. I was really desperate for help. He convinced me of the biblical soundness of the approach. I was around 34 years old at the time and my life was just in a shambles.

As I began to pray with him, all that changed. All of it. I began to get released in a way that I never had before. Over time I was able to taper off all the meds, and even without the meds the voices stopped through the Lord. I was in prayer sessions with Jim every single week, and after 6 months I knew that I had been delivered. I am now able to sleep, and the desire to slash my wrists or burn my skin stopped. All these habits halted one after another, and I began to get victory for the first time in my life. I can’t say enough good things about Moriah, because I’m the person who had tried everything to get free. It was through coming to Moriah that all this stuff is gone.

Now I’m in seminary serving the Lord and have over a year sober. It’s just incredible. I still have the scars from shooting heroin; I’m looking at my burns and I can still see what happened to me before I went in to see Jim, but all the stuff is gone. I just want to serve the Lord. If he wants me to be in missions or to run an orphanage, whatever He wants, I don’t care, I’m just here to be in the center of His will.

Today, I deal with normal life. The fact that I’ve been delivered from a life that was not even worth living is indescribably joyful to me. I can’t even explain how great it is, that I was given the grace to come in and to put faith in the process, in prayer, in the healing, and then to allow those strongholds to be broken so that the enemy has no more legal authority over me. I praise God. I don’t know what else I can say, to put into words to how much I was helped by coming through Moriah.

I would just say that Moriah Freedom Ministry saved my life. In any way that I can help I want to help, because so much has been done through my life. I just encourage anyone who is questioning this process to just give it a try.